I have never really been a huge fan of my birthday. Not only is it overshadowed by the two giant holidays it is wedged between, but the weather is usually terrible. In fact, one year we were driving in a snowstorm to pick up my friend and bring her to my birthday party when we went off the road and plunged into a snowbank. Happy birthday, Alexis!
I’ve decided to make things a little different this year. Not only am I going to tell people about my birthday, I’m going to use my birthday to ask a favor. Kate Sabato and I founded the Philadelphia Joke Initiative because we love jokes, and we got tired of seeing really funny ideas die because no one had the time or money to make them happen. We also were tired of seeing really talented folks who work very hard donate their performances over and over while producers collected all the income from the ticket sales.
Here’s where that favor kicks in: PJI needs you to achieve its ambitious vision of paying comedians a living wage. Here’s 3 easy ways you can support us!
1) Come see a show! This is one of the main things that we do, and we can’t do it without an audience. We’re hosting “The Hopper Brother’s Totally Tasetful Tribute to Those Who’ve Croaked in 2009″ on Dec 30 at 8pm (at Connie’s Ric Rac) and we’re producing a 3-week run of Cecily and Gwendolyn’s Fantastical Balloon Ride beginning January 13th.
Can’t make it to a show? Then…
2) Make a tax-deductible contribution to Freefall Productions via PJI’s website. A core part of PJI’s mission is to pay comedians for their work. Ticket sales alone do not cover the cost of production, let alone allow for artist salaries. But through fiscal sponsorship from Freefall Productions, you can help us achieve our mission through a tax-deductible contribution. No gift is too small- just $10 will give us an hour of rehearsal time. And if 5 people gave $10, that’s an actor salary for a performance of Cecily and Gwendolyn! EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS, PEOPLE!
You don’t have $10 lying around? Join the club! And then …
3) Get the word out! Friend us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter. Comment on our blog. Join our mailing list. Link to us on your blog or page. Tell a friend or two about what we’re doing. Word of mouth is the best way to reach audiences and supporters, and it’s FREE!
So there. I love Facebook page full of Happy Birthday greetings as much as the next guy, but a few more dollars towards our production budget or some hot link action to contactpji.com would mean so much more. Cause it’s the gift that I can give back.
GUYS. All Over! Philadelphia is back with a vengeance. And by “vengeance”, we of course mean “featuring a very special guest bets known for his work with the hilarious sketch group Camp Woods.” I am pretty sure that as listed in the Oxford English Dictionary, that definition is pretty much like 3 or 4. Anyhoot, here is. Merry Christmas!
An All Over! Philadelphia Special Report. Ace news reporter Brit Hamilton heads to Old City Philadelphia for a story on fire safety, but accidentally unearths a plot 233 years in the making. Only the King of Founding Fathers can fix this mess. Will Brit find him in …time?
Catch more All Over! Philadelphia action here. Special thanks to Camp Woods!
Dead Bob Fosse is just like you and me, except for two important things: he is dead, and he is Bob Fosse. But you may be surprised to learn that Dead Bob Fosse does a lot of things you and I do! For example, he goes to the grocery store – just like us! Except that when Dead Bob Fosse goes to the grocery store he usually wears a silk derby hat and dance shoes, instead of a nice sweater from J Crew or unflattering pajamas. Also, he smells like the rotted meat pulled from the shelves and left to fester by the back dumpster. This is not the case if his shopping takes place at Food Lion, because at Food Lion the meat would be bleached and put back on the shelves for three more days. But Dead Bob Fosse does not shop at Food Lion; Dead Bob Fosse has standards.
Just like you and me, Dead Bob Fosse needs a little morning jumpstart. You and I go to Starbucks or, if we are working class, Dunkin’ Donuts. Dead Bob Fosse goes to his local Strauss Auto and jumper cables himself up to a 12 volt. He also wears a lot of clothes by Halston, which most of the rest of us just can’t pull off.
No Dead Bob Fosse. Just bruised apples.
One more thing Dead Bob Fosse has in common with us regular folks – he has to go to the gas station and pump gas! This is just one of those everyday, ya-gotta-do-it kind of tasks, and Dead Bon Fosse is no exception. The only exception is that Dead Bob Fosse choreographed Cabaret while you just sat there like a fat layabout eating chips and hating yourself. Also, has he no blood circulating through his body.
A Very Special Blog Entry by Guest Author Fictional Character Eddie “Donkeylips” Gelfen
Hey guys!
What’s up? It’s me- your pal Donkelylips! I’ve been up to a LOT lately! Just look at this sweet photo of me, “hanging ten” with former US President Ronald Wilson Reagan! If that doesn’t spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S, then my work on the hit CBS Television series Becker sure does!
Speaking of success- wow! The internet, huh? The internet sure is an amazing resource of top tips to help you live your best life. Articles like “Laser Living: 10 Ways to Focus Like a Photobeam” and “Sucessories: 12 of Those Idiotically Popular Poster Sayings, Printed Here Without Pictures or Permission” dominate the e-landscape. I just finished reading “20 minutes to 20 Muffins that Will Change Your Holiday Party”. Neat!
But I noticed there isn’t a lot out there for the success-oriented child. As a successful Hollywood child actor, I know a thing or two about success, and also childhood. I learned a thing or two about positive thinking on the set of Chicken Soup for the Soul: “Footprints on my heart.” So I’ve written the following blog post for the child star within us all.
But don’t “Salute” these “Shorts” purely on my word! There are plenty of other folks out there you could listen to, I guess. Actions, and IMDB credits, speak louder than words. I’m cool to let the record speak for itself. So unless you wanna end up some dweebus at, oh let’s just pick some possible outcomes at random, Indiana University School of Law or noodling your guitar in some loser hip-rock band, you’ll read it. Punk.
10 Powerful Beliefs That Will Push You Toward Recess
I am in charge of the toy I play with.
You and only you are responsible of what you make of a given situation. If you want dibs on the tetherball court, you can make it happen. It is not Ms Tamilson’s fault that you got stuck with a crappy old jumprope AGAIN. Don’t be a victim! Visualize!
I can make a better future from today’s kickball team, tomorrow.
You can change your future by your actions today. Some team captains suffer from the fatalist mentality that are not in control of their team’s destiny; that they will never pick first and will always be stuck with the asthmatic wiener kid. Accept that wiener kid. Befriend him and teach him how to bunt. In return, he will totally help you with your fractions, or maybe let you hang around his hot older sister.
I don’t need the approval of others to succeed, but I do need the approval of others to be cool.
Recess is the one time of day that is totally ruled by kids. Do what it takes to be cool- just make sure you do it when Ms. Tamilson’s back is turned.
Teachers are catalysts, not barriers, to recess.
Whether you like it or not, that hell-bitch Ms Tamilson has the whistle. If approached in the right way and you network with the right people, you can extend your playtime by several minutes. Approach teachers the wrong way and you’ll get study hall on the nicest day of the year. You will get things done faster by getting help from others.
Positive thoughts are powerful and empowering. Jokes at other’s expense are MORE empowering.
The successful kid knows very well that starting a day with a positive rather than a negative outlook means having successful day. The uber-successful kid knows that the road to recess royalty is paved with the battered and tarred psyches of one’s competitors. Boost your own confidence by undermining the confidence of others. When you wake up tomorrow, start your day the RIGHT way with an affirmation like “Today, I WILL come up with the awesomest nickname for that mole-kid with the big ears.”
Forget, forgive, rejoice. How many starlets in the Rolls Royce?
A classic jump rope chant.
There are forces and energies which can help me if I’m conscious.
However, if I get knocked out in the fight, I will wake up in the nurse’s office with gauze stuffed up my nose and everyone will be calling me a wiener- even that mole-kid with the big ears! So, stay conscious: punch first, punch hard.
Bald patches are temporary
Jordan Sturdeson is a dirty liar. We WILL all hit puberty some day.
What I learn can be improved and refined.
Self-empowered people have a very dynamic view on life. There is always space for change and improvement especially on skills and lessons learnt. Just because you couldn’t throw Madison “Moleskin” Plander’s lunchbox over the school roof today doesn’t mean you can’t tomorrow. And come to think of it, maybe “Moleskin” Plander isn’t the awesomest nickname for that mole-kid with the big ears after all. Progress, not perfection- tomorrow is another day!
I already have all I need.
Self-explanatory. Unless you go to an underfunded public school. Then, you probably lack even basic resources like kickballs and grass. If that’s the case, move.
It wouldn’t be a Philadelphia Joke Initiative if we didn’t initiate some jokes. During our January production of Cecily and Gwendolyn’s Fantastical Balloon Ride, we’re presenting bonus shows from some of our favorite comedy acts. We didn’t have enough room to book them ALL, but we did manage to get a few.
Here’s what we got!
Bing Supernova’s Cavalcade of Fools Stand-up comedy from the greatest comedian in the entire universe. Featuring Chip Chantry, Steve Gerben, and Johnny Goodtimes.
The N Crowd
A short form improv comedy troupe that performs every Friday in Philadelphia. Founded in 2005, The N Crowd has performed over 300 times in the Philadelphia area… including appearances at the Philadelphia Improv Festival, Bethlehem First Night on New Years Eve, and is a yearly participant in the Philly Fringe Festival. Every week, The N Crowd produces roughly 75 minutes of completely unscripted comedy. Every show is different and and every show is filled with hilarity.
CUBED (website)
The cubicle-bound neighbors of CUBED bring workplace-comedy improv that relies heavily on audience suggestions and participation. CUBED’s highly interactive show allows the audience to write memos, provide their company’s name/service, and even become part of the show themselves! Starring Mark Bringhurst and Dan Stabb.
Rare Bird Show (website) Philly’s monsters of longform improv. Since its start in the summer of 2003, Rare Bird Show has performed all over Philly, toured to colleges, taught classes and workshops, and headlined top improv festivals around the country, including the Philadelphia Improv Festival, Toronto International Improv Festival, the Chicago Improv Festival at Second City, and the Del Close Marathon at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. You yell out a word; they turn it into comedy.
The Real Housewives of Philadelphia (website)
Backstabbing. Gold-digging. Random Charity Fundraisers. The Real Housewives of Philadelphia has all the familiar drama of your favorite cable reality show, completely live and completely unscripted.
Philadelphia. Pennsylvania. AMERICA. Are you ready for the Hopper Brother’s Totally Tasteful Tribute to Those We’ve Lost in 2009?
No? Well, you know what they say- there’s nothing better than a little music to grease the wheels of uncertainty. Check out this cover of Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T.”. We like to call it “Musicalube”.
That’s the title of this next video from time-travelers/social anthropologists Cecily and Gwendolyn.
Who knew about Cecily and her stallion?
If you weren’t already watching C&G on their YouTube Channel, why not start today? For Monday is the day that all changes be made. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible.
You can also catch Cec and Gwen, LIVE, this Wednesday at 8pm as part of the Mike Connor Travelogues.
What, you haven’t heard that classic Beatles song? You know, that classic one? About … not writing… stuff… for a while? Yeah, John Lennon was a real lazybones when it came to writing in the Daily Band Journale (Fun Fact: Journale is the British spelling of our American “Journal”) and it really ticked Paul off. So he wrote a big long whiner song about it. Wuss.
WUSS!
Okay okay, so just about everything in that last paragraph is a lie. We effed up and haven’t posted in a week. And by week, we mean ten days. So what.
Well, we are kinda sorry about it. Awfully sorry about that, chaps. However, our sabbatical from the internet allowed us to accomplish several things here in the real 3-dimensional world. Including!
- A production meeting for upcoming Cecily and Gwendolyn’s Fantastical Balloon Ride. Schedule, calendar, and ticket sales should be on the website within the week!
- Official support from Freefall Productions for Cecily and Gwendolyn. We cannot begin to tell you how excited we are to be collaborating with these guys.
- Making a really kick-ass wild rice casserole dish. Twice!
We’ve got a couple more delicious items cooking on the stove, literally and metaphorically- including this delicious White Truffle Maruchan Instant Ramen! We hope to be back regularly to tell you alllll about it.
